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Saturday 10 May 2014

What does my stroke feel like?

People who see me say, "you do look well" and similar.  I have then to explain how I feel on the inside.

Outwardly I do look pretty good: I have put back lost weight, got colour back in my cheeks and am looking more and more like my "old" self.  Inside it is (still) a very different story. The best way to describe how I feel is by saying I feel wobbly all the time when walking - like I have had 8 pints of beer -  always giddy and unsteady when on the move. Any physical exertion, like a tiny bit of gardening, leaves me shattered and in need of a sit-down and rest. I also feel near constant, low level nausea in my stomach and gut.

Overall, I AM making progress but this is too slow!  I desperately want to be "normal" again . At present, it seems 3 steps forwards and 2 backwards. I should be off  the stomach liquid feed by June/July and already the amount through the peg is vastly reduced compared with when I first came out of hospital. I think my giddiness and sickness/nausea are slowly improving.

So, I may look OK but inside I still feel rough at the moment. Normality is a way off yet still, sadly. Thankfully I sleep very deeply: when I drop off it is (usually) a long and good quality sleep. Sleep is the only time in the day I feel OK. The rest of the time is still a struggle.

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